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I can't be happy without a relationship...your guidance appreciated
11-12-2012, 08:34 PM (This post was last modified: 11-12-2012 08:34 PM by Indigo11.)
Post: #1
I can't be happy without a relationship...your guidance appreciated
Dear members,

I'm 23 and I've dropped out of university since I did not enjoy my degree.

I'm looking to go back to university at 25 to study a subject I'm passionate about and graduate at 28.

My problem is I need to be in a relationship with a women to make me happy, I need to be liked by people. I can't be happy when I'm single.

No matter how fulfilling my career is, no matter how much money I make, I need female relationships. I do have a lot of love to give.

Your advice appreciated,

Indigo
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11-12-2012, 09:00 PM
Post: #2
RE: I can't be happy without a relationship...your guidance appreciated
A while ago a wise friend of mine told me that until I was happy with myself, until I was able to find happiness within myself, then I would never be truly happy, especially in a relationship. Maybe the need to be with another person is because there is a fear of being alone, but until you can find happiness within yourself, how can you find true happiness in a relationship.

When you *need* to be with someone or be in something, it becomes a dependency, and a relationship should never have one person dependent on the relationship. Your need means you associate your happiness with another person, but true happiness doesn't come from another, it comes from inside us as people.

Maybe you need to think about going on an inner journey :-)... one where you truly find yourself?

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
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11-12-2012, 09:14 PM (This post was last modified: 11-12-2012 09:18 PM by Indigo11.)
Post: #3
RE: I can't be happy without a relationship...your guidance appreciated
Thank you Icemaiden for your lovely post Smile.

How can I find me inner journey? I try to be happy, I'm going for a career I love, there is abundance, but I need people, companionship. I just don't want to spend my 20s just studying.

I don't truly know how to be happy.
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11-12-2012, 10:02 PM
Post: #4
RE: I can't be happy without a relationship...your guidance appreciated
That is something no one can give you the answer to, it's something you have to find for yourself.

The university years are meant to be the best years of your life, because its there you get to have a blast.... its not all about studying....

Seriously, the twenties should be about enjoying life, not spending every waking moment trying to be in a relationship.... I am 37 now, and maybe I am a bit too much of a free spirit.... but my twenties were spent studying and working hard for my own future... because at the end of the day, the future is something that will eventually be your present... so enjoy today, find things you enjoy, socialise, but until you can function and be happy as a single entity, no relationship will ever be fulfilling..... :-)

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
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11-12-2012, 11:01 PM
Post: #5
RE: I can't be happy without a relationship...your guidance appreciated
What you say Indigo isn't something very abnormal at all however. It's a human instinct to want companionship and to be loved by others (whether it family, friendships or relationships).
In todays economy it's not always as simple as having fun in your 20s anymore, and younger generations do have to secure their career early on to get somewhere in life. So don't feel too hard on yourself about having to focus on that certain aspect right now!

If it's companionship you want, why not work on your social life with friends for now? Try new hobbies and meet people with similar interests as you. You'll not only start filling your life with more things you love and people to be around, but being out with give you the opportunity to meet potential women for relationships!

I do agree with what icemaiden is saying though. You've got to be happy with yourself for a relationship to be successful however. As doubts, fears and insecurities will work their way into the relationship at some point.
But the way to be happy is doing things you love (not necessarily career), filling your life with supportive and loving people (such as family and friends) and soon this will help build your self-esteem and confidence and ultimately make you happier in yourself.

The more free-spirited and happy you are in your own shoes, the more people are attracted to you!
It's not a quick journey.... but ultimately will be rewarding in every aspect!
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12-12-2012, 09:45 AM
Post: #6
RE: I can't be happy without a relationship...your guidance appreciated
Hey, thank you guys for your awesome responses.

I'm doing a career that I love, I play for my local sports club and I socialise with my family and go to the cinima with my friends.

Its true what you guys say, as we are integrated in our own life, there will come to a point we will miss familiar surroundings and become lonely.

The things that's bothering me is that I'd like to start a family after 29 once I've graduated at 28 and that is my goal! I would like to be in a long-term relationship if I'm honest.
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12-12-2012, 02:28 PM
Post: #7
RE: I can't be happy without a relationship...your guidance appreciated
(12-12-2012 09:45 AM)Indigo11 Wrote:  Hey, thank you guys for your awesome responses.

I'm doing a career that I love, I play for my local sports club and I socialise with my family and go to the cinima with my friends.

Its true what you guys say, as we are integrated in our own life, there will come to a point we will miss familiar surroundings and become lonely.

The things that's bothering me is that I'd like to start a family after 29 once I've graduated at 28 and that is my goal! I would like to be in a long-term relationship if I'm honest.

Hi

You can learn to be without someone and appreciate it as a luxury the time you have single..twenties are good for exploring, trying new hobbies, joining groups, trying things which scare , I joined adventure clubs and got in waterskiing and climbing, I still join groups, to keep widening my social circle..so that I am not alone but have people around me and am always looking to try new things.....that way you start to have fun anyway and relationships become a bonas or you can become more fussy about brininging someone in that compliments your new likes and life..not just out of need...
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