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FInally - Not listening anymore!
08-09-2014, 08:18 PM
Post: #1
FInally - Not listening anymore!
Well this has been a long time coming!

I have finally given up, let go and realised that I have been a fool.

Don't get me wrong, I still believe in psychic ability, I still believe that they can predict many many things, in fact a psychic predicted the man I have been 'friends' with 10 years ago - by name.

However, I am not listening to them as far as advice and what could happen with us. I have had so many predictions come true I thought it had to happen, why would these few trusted psychics be right about all the things that do happen and be wrong about him having feelings for me and coming forward in a romantic way.

Well today (well the last few days) I have realised because of these psychics, because they all say how wounded, scared, frightened, so afraid of his feelings, so afraid of commitment, so afraid of giving in to what he really does feel I have put up with so many bad things from this man and been hurt on so many occasions that I no longer will make this sacrifice.

He is not worth it!

Nobody is worth making you feel insignificant and as if you are their security blanket. Nobody deserves to be treated the way I have over the last few years. Total bewilderment fixed by a psychic reading to explain why he was behaving in a certain way, to justify why he said what he had said. To tell me that when he says for the millionth time that we are just friends and he feels nothing for me, there is no chemistry and he is not attracted to me.

Don't get me wrong, this is not all psychics doing. This man has behaved as if we are something more than friends, he has given me so much hope in the way he behaved that I had no other choice but to believe the psychics.

He has called me everyday for over two years, nearly every night. Some days we speak 4 or 5 times. Text, email, joke, laugh. We meet up loads of times - in fact last week alone I saw him 5 times, much more than it has been.

Yet, he tells me he wants to date, that he hasn't because he is worried about how I will react - hasn't dated in 2 years - since he met me.

He tells me that I have the wrong idea of our friendship and this is all my doing - it is in my head. Maybe that is true, psychics put it there but I felt it a long time ago.

This man wouldn't spend time with a woman he want attracted to in some way, he wouldn't flirt with me. He wouldn't invite me to dinner with friends and family and he certainly wouldn't call me every night before he goes to bed.

But a man who is interested in me wouldn't say the nasty damaging things he does, would not purposely compliment other woman in my company yet never compliment me. He wouldn't take what he needs and not give what I deserve.

So to me, now I am taking things on face value, getting my self esteem back and not giving him what he wants anymore. This man does not deserve me in his life, even as a friend until he can work out what he really wants.

So please listen to me, if psychics tell you he is going to come forward, or come back. Look at how you have been treated before you believe that this could be true. Do you deserve to be treated the way that person has treated you.

Like me, like everyone that has so much love to give, you deserve to be swept off your feet, made to feel that you are one very special person and that their world revolved around making you happy as you can make them happy. Not giving in and taking less than is rightfully yours.

So at last, I am not listening to what he needs and how damaged he is. I am listening to myself and what I deserve, from anyone in my life.

Psychics are great, those that I trust have given me so much enjoyment as I watch the predictions roll in, but they have given me so much hope and expectations. Both of which are lacking and have failed to materialise. Now I am going to only invite into my life, people that can make me feel good about myself.

A lesson learnt - maybe - but an expensive one that has taken me 2 years, many tears and much soul searching to reach.
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09-09-2014, 05:50 AM
Post: #2
RE: FInally - Not listening anymore!
Miserable, not sure which one you are the most pissed off with, is it the man or the psychics?
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09-09-2014, 09:15 AM
Post: #3
RE: FInally - Not listening anymore!
I used to know a guy like you describe miserable, he messed with my head told me he didn't want commitment and all that crap and we were best friends. In the end I got sick of it, I moved on and found someone else whom I'm still in a relationship with today.

You know this man better than anyone else, and I would say if he's quite adamant that he doesn't want commitment then I would move on. You could be wasting a lot of the best years of your life putting everything on hold for him. There's probably guys out there who would appreciate you. Sometimes it's hard to move on especially when you have a good friendship with a man, but in the long term it's better for you.

When you ask a reader specific question such as a lover, you have to remember they have to spin out at least 20 mins talking about that man, exaggerating things. A question about that would normally take 5 mins at tops to see where you're heading with this guy. Perhaps you know the answer to this question deep down yourself.
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09-09-2014, 12:51 PM
Post: #4
RE: FInally - Not listening anymore!
Miserable, I've waited for a man and equally I have been waited for by a man. I know many people who have waited or are waiting for someone. In my experience there is never a happy ending for the one who waits.
Perhaps energetically there is something inherently unappealing about someone who waits. Maybe it smacks of stagnation and desperation and what we seek is movement, potential and possibility in the other person.

Readers will keep you in this claustrophobic 'soul mate' bind for years if you let them.
Yet isn't it remarkable how often the 'damaged man ' supposedly scared of his own emotional shadow when it comes to one woman commits in a heartbeat to the next one he meets.
And, again, if you let them, some readers will keep you hanging on even then by telling you that he doesn't love this woman for whom he's bending over backwards but is actually pining for you, the woman he is not prepared to even contact.

The answer has to be not to let readers take you on this merry go round. But the bigger thing, imo, is not to jump on the ride yourself in the first place. I know that's easier said than done. Each situation is different and we each think ours will work out. But the harsh reality is, if a man wants you, he will give up a kingdom to have you. And if he isn't sure or doesn't then he won't lift a finger.

I found that the only way to genuinely move on was to cut the contact in physical terms then do so emotionally. It takes time. It's painful. You have lots of little lapses but eventually one day you do wake up and feel no urge to contact him, think about him or know wht he's up to. It's a great feeling.
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09-09-2014, 05:57 PM
Post: #5
RE: FInally - Not listening anymore!
I am not angry with either really - well more the man in question. He is not a romantic connection in anyway shape or form. But treats me that way to an extent.

I don't feel I have wasted the best years of my life as I have been married and had children etc etc etc.

But he acts like someone that is interested and the psychics said......

But everyone is right, time to move on and severe contact. What he gives is not enough.
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09-09-2014, 08:30 PM
Post: #6
RE: FInally - Not listening anymore!
I guess the moral of this is that if after a certain period of time a guy is not coming forward, not showing any real interest past friendship.. not making any actual moves... then the chances are he is simply wanting his cake and eating it, and unfortunately that is what some men do (and women as well).

This is why using our own intuition is so important.. psychics can't plant seeds that we don't already have in our heads, or in our hearts... unfortunately we don't pick and choose who we like, or who we fall for, but we can take control over how we let others treat us...and well, no decisions based on the heart should be made based on what a psychic may or may not have said.... I mean if a psychic said that we had to jump off a cliff wearing a rudolph onesie while singing high ho silver lining.. would anyone actually do it? So why is it that so many people not so much blame psychics but accuse them of keeping them hanging on to a situation? Only the person in a situation can hang on to a situation, I guess life is all a learning lesson.

Seriously miserable, the guy hasn't been worth your energy or effort for a long time, and it's hard when something is one sided and we have perhaps read more into a situation than was there, and he has to take some responsibility for that... you are much better off without him!!!!

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
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09-09-2014, 08:59 PM
Post: #7
RE: FInally - Not listening anymore!
(09-09-2014 08:30 PM)Icemaiden Wrote:  I guess the moral of this is that if after a certain period of time a guy is not coming forward, not showing any real interest past friendship.. not making any actual moves... then the chances are he is simply wanting his cake and eating it, and unfortunately that is what some men do (and women as well).

This is why using our own intuition is so important.. psychics can't plant seeds that we don't already have in our heads, or in our hearts... unfortunately we don't pick and choose who we like, or who we fall for, but we can take control over how we let others treat us...and well, no decisions based on the heart should be made based on what a psychic may or may not have said.... I mean if a psychic said that we had to jump off a cliff wearing a rudolph onesie while singing high ho silver lining.. would anyone actually do it? So why is it that so many people not so much blame psychics but accuse them of keeping them hanging on to a situation? Only the person in a situation can hang on to a situation, I guess life is all a learning lesson.

Seriously miserable, the guy hasn't been worth your energy or effort for a long time, and it's hard when something is one sided and we have perhaps read more into a situation than was there, and he has to take some responsibility for that... you are much better off without him!!!!

Well said Icemaiden. The problem is it was never one sided as in seeking me out and catching up. However I have realised today that he does just enough to make sure I am there, then backs off again. Doesn't like it doesn't suit him. I know there is nobody else in his life, he doesn't have the time - or need anyone as he has me.

So I will push him into seeking others out now as I will no longer constantly be on the end of the telephone for him.

You are right, he is a waste of my time.

Sad but my intuition on this one has been way off
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10-09-2014, 07:34 PM
Post: #8
RE: FInally - Not listening anymore!
so let me get this straight..

this guy has, in the past, blatantly told you that he ain't interested and doesn't see you in a romantic way, yet the psychics told you the opposite?

alarm bells should have starting ringing girl, especially when you got it straight from the horses mouth.

Why would a guy who, im assuming who you are non sexual with, lead you on for all this time if he secretly was interested? doesnt make logical sense.

have you thought that just maybe.. just maybe he actually really does see you as a friend? (*shock)
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10-09-2014, 08:50 PM
Post: #9
RE: FInally - Not listening anymore!
Seeking you out and catching up is not an indication that someone likes you as more than a friend.. and sometimes we want something to happen with someone that we are blinded to the obvious... and I am sure everyone has been in this situation at least once in their lives at some point.

No doubt he probably didn't think he was giving out the signals you thought he was... and sometimes people don't realise the type of signals they are giving out... even when they are close friends....

The thing is, now you know the only thing he wants to offer you is friendship, you can move on from this situation..... and who knows, you may meet someone who can offer you what you want, instead of just friendship :-)

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats. ~Voltaire
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10-09-2014, 10:11 PM
Post: #10
RE: FInally - Not listening anymore!
oh its far more than just seeking me out. who calls a
'friend" every night for 1 or 2 hours no matter where they are in the world. sends love songs they sing to camera? who? who doesn't see another female for the 2 years. who texts every morning to check youre ok? takes you to dinner with his family with significant other. discloses info that nobody else knows. who?

so im not totally to blame I think
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