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I Cheated on My Husband and Now I’ll Never Love Someone
22-10-2019, 08:24 AM
Post: #1
I Cheated on My Husband and Now I’ll Never Love Someone
’ve cheated twice in my life.
Once on a boyfriend.
Once on a husband.
I never planned to cheat. I never started talking to these two “misters” out of an intent to stray. I’m monogamous by nature, and when my needs are met, I can barely look at other men.
When my needs are met.
The first wrong choice I made was marrying my ex-husband. Looking back, I set myself up for failure, but it seemed like the right choice at the time.
I loved him for his potential. I thought marriage would change him, that our wedding vows would turn him suddenly more affectionate, passionate, and communicative. He’d be more complimentary. He’d desire and want me as I thought all husbands should want their wives.
But we would have been better as friends.
We could make each other laugh, but too much time together always left me wanting and us fighting.
I felt excluded from his interior world as well as undesired and unattractive.
He’d turn down my sexual advances, rarely complimented me, and often didn’t want me to touch him, even if it was just to cuddle on the couch.
I voiced my needs many times throughout our years together.
He told me things like, “There‘s no point in complimenting you because enough is never enough.” He made it seem like I was an endless pit of longing whose needs he could never meet.
To be fair, he was right. I was wanting him to be an entirely different person.
I didn’t marry him for him as him; I married him for him as I hoped he would become.
For years, I got my emotional needs through close relationships with other women. Since I wasn’t able to connect with my ex-husband very often on deeply emotional and intimate levels, I confided to my close women friends. I met often with them for coffee, dinners, chatted with them on the phone whenever I had a spare minute.
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